Hello and happy Monday funday. [Blogged while wondering if my hair will ever stop thinning, or if I’ll just go bald completely.]

I recently saw How to Be Single, and its message is basically to take advantage of the time when you’re single. To use that time to find out who you are, do the things you want to do and stand on your own two feet. Because once you get into a relationship it’s harder to do that. Which is true…if you let it be true.

One of the most important lessons I learned from my five-year relationship failure is that my identity should never be someone’s girlfriend, or (one day) someone’s wife. I became so immersed in that relationship, and let myself fall so far down the rabbit hole that I lost myself. I was obsessed with seeing my boyfriend every free second I could. I didn’t set time aside for myself to do things that made me happy and grow as a person. And that was on me. I made those choices. But when you’re in a relationship it can be hard to see when your priorities get off-balance. And you never think to take a step back and put yourself first. At least I didn’t.

So this time around I’m extra self-aware of how I allocate my time. I need family time, friends time, boyfriend time, but most importantly, I need me time. I need to blog, I need to craft, I need to read my young adult novels and I need to keep exploring my interests. Always. Because if you stop actively seeking new things that bring you joy, you’re keeping yourself from reaching your full potential. And you’ll look back wishing you had done more things for yourself.

It’s possible to be independent and also be in a relationship. You can still figure yourself out, do thing you love to do, and stand on your own two feet. You’ll just have someone standing next to you.