Stop being such a bitch

Hello and happy Sunday funday. [Blogged while making banana bread with anticipated concern at how much I’ll eat upon it coming out of the oven.]

You know what I’ve gotten really good at? Being a Positive Polly. I know what you’re thinking. But Lyss, you’re always such a sarcastic piece of shit. There’s no way you can be positive. To you I say, please know the difference between sarcasm and negativity. Because I am, in fact, a ray of sunshine.

Now, I want you to close your eyes (but also keep reading) and think of a relationship that makes you want to rip your hair out. And then specifically what about it makes you want to rip your hair out. You’ll probably realize it’s really just you reacting like an asshole.

Like when my mother texts me all day every day and then also calls me on those very same days at least once, maybe twice. Or when we go shopping and she’ll scream, “What about this one sweet pea?!” Her constant connections used to actually raise my blood pressure. Like please stop calling me every 12 hours, not that much has changed since the last time we spoke. And also, please call me sweet pea in your heart and not in front of my peers who are adults. My quick mental response of annoyance and irritation is something I’ve become mindful of in recent years.

As I’ve gotten older, I’m more able to relate to my mom as a woman and an adult, which has made me more understanding. And I also quite frequently take a step back. (Literally because she’s usually hugging me, but also figuratively.) I think of people who wish they had a mom like mine. So relentlessly and enthusiastically involved in every single moment of their life. Because to them, that might be all they ever wanted. I also remember that literally at any point in any day, something could take her from me. An accident, a disease, an illness. I learned that perspective from my perfect three-legged black ninja.

So while my mother sometimes annoys me, I can recognize it’s coming from a place of love. And that I need to stop being a bitch.

Next time that person you thought of four paragraphs ago does something that makes you want to play in traffic, remember that life is short. Appreciate the moment, react in an emotionally stable manner and be a positive fucking Polly.

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