Hello and happy Sunday Funday. [Blogged on Friday night with my feet in a sock mask, a full bladder and burning eyeballs.]
I thought I’d take a break from being a business owner and binging Vampire Diaries to hop on here and share yet another piece of unsolicited advice from a grown ass woman with an insatiable addiction to a teen vampire drama. Here’s where I’m at. I’ve been watching Vamp Dies for…a few months? Honestly, time has been a fantastic blur of fangs and sexual tension. For those who haven’t seen the show, there’s a vampire named Damon, who’s your typical bad boy. Black leather jacket and all (not complaining). He’s the selfish, unpredictable, aggressive older brother. So anyway, *SPOILER* if you’re planning to watch — long story short, he gets the girl he loves and they journey into a relationship filled with passion, drama, yada, yada, yada. I’m 5* seasons in (because there are 8, thank you God) and the ship has been very will they/won’t they, “we’re-bad-for-each-other,” all-consuming love.
So that’s where today’s topic stemmed from. I found myself watching their scenes thinking, are they bad for each other? Is this just another toxic relationship that won’t last because it’s too consuming? Is there such a thing? Love is so complicated, you know?
And then it came to me. Everyone should date a Damon. (Alt. title of this post was “Everyone should date a douche.”) But that’s the thing, the word “douche” isn’t quite what I mean. Guys like Damon could be described as douchebags, but they’re more just…risky. You know? The guys that make you feel really high highs and really low lows? They make life volatile, for better or worse. And it keeps things exciting. But is that kind of relationship sustainable? All-consuming love can very easily cross over into toxic co-dependency and unpredictability can manifest into anxiety.
Throughout my life, I’ve gotten sucked into the emotional rollercoaster of Damons. They didn’t wear leather jackets and have piercing blue eyes that paralyze my brain, but they weaseled their way into my heart somehow. I was young, so dating a Damon at that time in my life was…fun? Exciting? Definitely unpredictable. And sometimes awful. But man, the highs that little Lyss felt in those drama-filled “relationships” were addicting. And I’m grateful for them. I enjoyed the emotional rollercoaster. The wind in my hair made me feel alive.
Slowly, I grew up and out of the phase where I thought drama equaled passion. Instead, I found steady fervor that’s healthy and sustainable for this part of my adult life. I still have the mems that made me feel alive in a crazy, unstable, but also great sort of way. And I’m glad I have them. I learned a lot about myself.
We often try to avoid situations that may end badly, even if something inside of us is saying go for it. You never know, a decision you assumed was bad could turn into the best one you’ve ever made. And maybe you’ll marry your Damon. This life is full of surprises. So I decided that even if dating a Damon turns out to be unsustainable, it’s still worth the ride. It might end in flames, but life is short, and it’s OK to play with a little fire if it makes you feel alive.
*Since writing and sitting on this post, I’m now almost on season 8. Tysm.